I'm going to the Dominican Republic...like SOON!

YES!! That is right! On Monday I will be flying to the Dominican Republic where I will be living and teaching at Jarabacoa Christian School!!! These past two weeks have been the craziest, most stressful, most emotional and most reassuring of God's presence that I may have ever experienced. Even though I did not have neon lights telling me to go, I believe God has spoken to me in His still small voice. Though the journey of job searching has been long and rough, He has reminded me that He is in control.

I just bought my plane ticket tonight so it seems more real to me now. However, I still feel like I may pee my pants at any second!! Okay...so I should probably start with...how did this all happen?!?!?

As many of you know, I was offered a job in Burkina Faso after student teaching there this past fall. I felt like God was telling me, "not now." So, I said no. At the time I thought "not now" meant that it was going to be far off...at least a year before going to teach overseas. I NEVER would have thought that "not now" meant...in a few months!! I started applying to schools in the spring and then made it a full time job through the summers. Applications are everywhere in my room and all over the house. I cannot even begin to think how many I have filled out. Then there were the few interviews. They all seemed really promising, like many of the other situations. However, each door was closing. In the middle of the summer I remember asking the Lord if He was closing these doors to show me I was supposed to teach overseas. Around that time I got an email from Natalie...my soon to be roommate and co-worker and also former TU student...who wondered if I would be interested in teaching in the DR. This thought stayed in the back of my mind, but it seemed logistically out of the question. After all, I passed on a really good financial offer to Burkina already. Well, more doors kept closing, and I thought more about this opportunity. One day while praying while sun bathing in my pool, I thought of what was holding me back. Because this is actually where my heart is. I realized that student loans were the only thing. So, I did some research and realized that I could put my loans on hold for a year without being penalized. Everything from that moment seemed to keep falling into place. My heart was growing more and more fond of this idea and the more I thought and prayed about it, the more I realized this may be exactly where God wants me this year. It was so neat when I realized that all of the things that I was hesitant on about going to Burkina were not the case here:

Problem 1...I didn't know French and really didn't have a desire to learn....Spanish is the language of the DR. One of my life goals is to learn Spanish fluently because I have a deep passion for this language.
Problem 2...I didn't want to live in another country alone....I will be living with Natalie and another girl!
Problem 3...The students are not locals so I didn't feel like I got to be a part of the actual country and people of Burkina--the Burkina I love...I will be teaching local Dominicans and be able to form relationships with them and their families!
Problem 4...I didn't want to make a two year commitment....this is only a one year contract
Problem 5...Plane tickets are so expensive so if there was an emergency I couldn't come home and my parents probably wouldn't be able to visit....flights to the DR are MUCH cheaper and affordable.

So...based on just these little things...I was and still am at total peace with this new endeavor. I promise this is the end of this long story...but the last confirmation I had was when the door to a school in Indiana closed...actually it slammed shut. I prayed specifically that God would open and close doors for me to either go or to stay. I want to be where He wants me and that is it! The day I prayed this...last Wednesday, I got called for an interview in Indiana. "Ok, Lord, I hear you!" So I went to Indiana, interviewed, came back, and waited to hear the verdict. Well, for some reason it took forever for them to get back to me...and finally I found out that the positions had been filled. I truly believe that the Lord has clearly opened this door for me to go to the DR. He knows my heart and what is best for me. I am so thankful for that!!!

Now, as I prepare to pack up my life and to say good-byes and start planning lessons for my little kiddos, I need your prayers! I'm so thankful that I have the weekend to spend with my whole family...even little Dylan and Jack! :) Please pray that things during this time would go smoothly and that God would comfort my family and our hearts as we prepare to say good-bye for nine months.

Well, buenas noches!!! :)

Summer is Almost Over?

Somehow the summer days and nights have slipped away, and we are already into the middle of August. When I think of this time, I think of getting ready to go back to school. Well, as an elementary teacher, this is exactly what I planned on doing. Through the entire spring semester, my last semester at Taylor, I heard the question, "What are you going to do?." This question drove me crazy...at least I thought it did. It did not compare to how I feel now when I am asked that same question 3 months down the road. All summer I have been spending my days applying to any school I can find in Ohio, Indiana, some in North Carolina, and even one in West Virginia. Earlier this summer I got interviewed for a Kindergarten position in Akron, Ohio which would be close to home. It seemed like it was a great opportunity, and I got a second interview. I felt so good about it and thought there would be a good chance I would get the job. I remember thinking how amazing it would be to start working on preparing my classroom, lessons, and most of all....I would have security. This word has been a huge learning process this summer. Needless to say, I did not get the job. I was second out of 150+ applicants...but I did not get it. Another door closed and again...no security.

I have realized how much I want security in my life. This has been a surprise to me because I feel like I am a "go with the flow" kinda girl. However, with more friends landing jobs...and husbands...I feel myself craving just something to have that I can call mine and lean on that won't close or fall apart. To some this probably sounds so silly, but it truly was wearing me down...until I broke. Thankfully, I was reminded through scripture and through amazing friends and family that God is still all that I need. It's funny...well kind of sad too...to me how quickly we forget things that God teaches us in our lives. There have been countless times in my life that things looked dismal and hopeless but God has always shown His face and brought me from darkness into light. I look back on these past situations and think how silly I was to worry when God knew all along what was best for me. I believe that soon I will look back on this waiting for a job experience and feel the same.

Besides job searching, I have been up to a few other things this summer. One major highlight was going to Philadelpia on a missions trip with my church's youth group. This trip was unique because it was my first state side missions trip and it was also my first time as a leader. I was looking forward to both aspects. Truthfully, I went into the trip thinking that I was there to learn as a leader and that my eyes probably wouldn't be opened that much...afterall, I have been to Burkina Faso and so many other hurting countries. It was just like our God to totally blow me away and open my eyes in SO many ways. One thing that God really taught me through this trip was humilty. This probably isn't surprising considering my pre-trip thoughts. The first night in Philly God started showing me how selfish I am even in ministry. I love ministry, and I love people. However, many times without even thinking, I choose which ministry and which person/people that I want to love. I seldom allow God to set this up. There were a lot of times in Philly that I wanted to jump in and be where the action was...especially with the Vacation Bible School. As I love kids and am experienced, I wanted to work one-on-one with them. But that wasn't where God wanted me. He wanted me to allow the youth students to reap that joy and to be changed by the kids. It was amazing how when I allowed God to work this way...the way He intended...I was able to experience so much joy in a new way. God continued to show me that I cannot be selfish in ministry throughout the trip. My favorite part of the trip was ministering on Kenzington Avenue. This is one of the roughest spots in Philly. As you can imagine, sheltered Amanda was really out of place. As I walked these streets I realized that I have seen a ton of things in my travels...but that was mainly due to poverty. This was different...this was total darkness. I cannot explain the darkness...it just existed. It was in the air, and it was in the faces of those we talked with. In my twenty-two years in the church, I have never felt the desire to want to share about the Lord more than I did this week. After just sitting on the side of the street talking with a homeless person or huging someone with multiple diseases, I realized that they need nothing on this earth...they ONLY need the Lord. I am so thankful that I was able to make some relationships with these precious people who the Lord loves just as much as me and you. I will always remember their faces and their eyes. Even in this darkness, Jesus is there. He just appears hidden with all the sin. But He is not. He is alive. And I know that little by little that street will experience light. What a joy it will be when some of these people are worshipping beside me in heaven.

Okay...I will not make this next part as long! Other than all of the above stuff...this summer has been filled with family. If you know me...you know that nothing on this earth makes me happier than being with my family! This summer has truly been a gift from God to be a family and to enjoy one another and just laugh. Some highlights have included: swimming and sunbathing with Bri, late night dollar theatre runs with Eddie, visits with my grandparents, hugs and smiles from my little Dylan (my nephew), jamming sessions with dad, heart to hearts and quality time with mom, weekend visits from Jack and Andrea (Bri's girlfriend and her 4 year old son), and most of all...just "being" a family.

So, that is my summer recap. Here are a few pictures. Thanks for reading! I will make sure to update this when God opens up a door. I know He will. :)

Jack and I swimming! Or should I say floating? :)

My first trip to Chuck E. Cheese which included: Mom, Dad, Jack, and I

Eddie and his precious baby, Dylan! This kid LOVES the water! :)

It has been awhile

Wow...I just realized that it has been a long time since I have written. I feel like a lot has happened since then. The biggest thing is that I graduated a few weeks ago with my Elementary Education degree. It is the strangest thing to consider myself a teacher now. I have known I have wanted to teach since I was five years old, but it was always a far off dream. Now it is here. Crazy. But I am so excited that it is here and that soon I will hopefully be doing what I have always dreamed of. The past several months I have been spending the majority of my time filling out applications for teaching positions in Ohio, Indiana, North Carolina, and now possibly West Virginia. I am really open to going anywhere as long as I am teaching. Also, I would love to not be totally alone. It would be great to live at home or with some Taylor friends for a year or two to get some teaching experience in. During that time of learning, I want to pay my school loans off so that I can be out of debt. Then, if God is still leading me in the direction He is now, I plan on teaching overseas or starting some type of teaching ministry. Only God knows. I am thankful that He does and that is all that matters. To be honest, the past few weeks at home have been difficult and full of doubt in my heart. I have not only been applying to teaching positions but also to summer jobs. I have never been more broke in my life and now I currently do not have health insurance since I graduated. I feel like each day I hear the clock ticking and more and more of my friends are getting teaching jobs. I have been reminding myself the past few days who gave me this passion for teaching. Why worry when the Lord has directed my steps for twenty-two years. He won't stop now. So, I am excited to see where "next" is for me. Until then, I am enjoying spending time with my family and some extra time with my grandparents. Yesterday I was visiting them and thinking how blessed I am to have grandparents still that love me so much and that I can see whenever I want. I don't want to take this for granted.

Well, besides all of that....our swimming pool is almost ready for jumping in! Today we can see the bottom of the deep end. I am always like a little kid when it comes to the pool. We are hoping that Lexie (our 125lb. dog) doesn't try swimming too. This is her first summer with us, so she is still trying to figure out why we are now outside so much and looking at this cement pond. It ought to be interesting. :)

Here are some pictures of the last days while at Taylor.

Dr. Quinn with Ellen, Britt, and I at the Education Breakfast

Wonderful Elementary Education majors...we LOVE T-A-Y-L-O-R!

My wonderful family and I after the graduation ceremony

A Glimpse into Poverty from a Materialistic Girl

Throughout my time at Taylor, God has opened my eyes up to the world and to what the Gospel truly is. I am repeatedly challenged by messages involving social justice. I know that our God is a God of justice. One of my favorite verses is Isaiah 30:18 where it says:

The Lord longs to be gracious to you.

He rises to show you compassion.

The Lord is a God of justice,

Blessed are all who wait on Him.

Sometimes when I read this verse I insert my name in the "you's." Also, I insert people groups around the world who I have worked with and seem hopeless. This reminds me that God love for them is so powerful and that His heart breaks for the injustice that they are facing.

The past three years, Taylor has set up a Cardboard Community for Social Justice Week. This is the second year that I have participated. Last year, my friend Ellen and I decided to live outside in the cardboard box community. We had a lot of academic things that week, so this was really the only part that we were involved in. It was eye opening but a lot of fun. This week was Social Justice Week, and it has been one my lightest weeks so far. So, my friend Britt and I decided that we would build a cardboard home together. I was so excited to be more involved and to get a better glimpse of what breaks my God's heart.

I have to admit, I had no idea what a challenge this would be this year. The cardboard this year was flimsy and smaller, making house building extremely difficult. So, after 3 and a half hours, Britt and I had a home that looked like it could fall over at a moment's notice. Monday night we got into our house and it rained literally the entire night. I woke up around 3am with water pouring on my face and my pillow soaking wet. I couldn't sleep the rest of the night and was simply miserable. I remember looking at the time and thinking that I still had several hours till I could leave. Later I began to think about the whole leaving thing. Homeless people don't have the option to go back to a warm apartment if their box or street sleeping is just too much on them. I knew that in a few days this would be all over, and I would be back in my comfy bed. Homeless people don't experience this. I started to think about how hopeless they must be each day waking up to this reality.

The second night in our box was just as bad except we were so tired that we slept a little better. It had rained the entire day and again through the entire night. Our box was half soaking wet, so we managed to sleep in a ball tucked at the bottom. I woke up thinking that I don't know if I could do a third night. However, Britt and I lifted each other's spirits and we ventured out last night for our final night. When we got to our box, it was totally soaked and all of the walls were collapsing. We almost went back to our houses and gave up. But, then Britt had the idea of sleeping under the overhang of one of our academic buildings. We grabbed some sleeping bags from friends since ours were too wet. I can't remember two seconds after I put my head down. I woke up a few times being cold, but I slept pretty well.

To be honest, I am really thankful that tonight I will be in my bed. I don' t think that I will ever forget this week. It wasn't fun, it was miserable. I think that is what I needed though to get a more realistic view of the injustice occurring all over America and the world.

It is exciting to me that so many Taylor students are aware of this and want to make a difference. I pray that God continues to make us uncomfortable and uses our hands and feet to bring justice to His precious children.

This week we have been singing "Hosanna" by Hillsong. This is one of my favorite songs, and I think that it was perfect for this week.

I see the king of glory

Coming on the clouds with fire

The whole earth shakes

The whole earth shakes

Yeeeah

I see his love and mercy

Washing over all our sin

The people sing

The people sing

[Chorus]

Hosanna

Hosanna

Hosanna in the highest

I see a generation

Rising up to take their place

With selfless faith

With selfless faith

I see a near revival

Stirring as we pray and seek

We're on our knees

We're on our knees

[Chorus]

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdoms cause

As I go from nothing to Eternity

[Chorus]

The Potter's Hands

A few weeks ago I secretly had a ceramics lesson with Laura, who is currently in the class. It was such a wonderful and fun experience. I have worked with clay before, but I have never done wheel throwing. The whole thing was a process that had such meaning to me when I thought about our Potter.

First, the clay is really tough, so you have to throw it as hard as you can to soften it. Sometimes, God has to take us through storms and even fire in order to speak to us and to get us to have softened hearts. Next, we had to center the clay on the wheel. Without being centered, the whole thing would fall apart. Without keeping God our center and our focus, this will happen to us, too. After that, you can start to make whatever it is you are making. Laura kept telling me that I needed to add more water because it dries out quickly. This made me think of prayer and time with God. We are only nourished and able to be filled vessels when we are filled with Him. We need more and more of this. We can never have enough. I decided to make a bowl for my first item. Getting the clay to look like a bowl took many steps. However, towards the end, after my hands had softened the clay and worked with it a great deal, it started to follow every slight movement that my hands went. Soon, I had a beautiful bowl (at least I thought so). Again, this reminds me of our Potter. Even when He speaks to us and we know He is working, we sometimes still want to hold on ourselves. We don't know what the outcome is going to look like. But, when we choose to give our lives 100% to the Potter's hands, we can freely be molded into something beautiful. Then, the Potter looks at His work and is so proud. He forgets all about the beginning steps and the resistance; He only sees beauty.

I am so thankful that I had this experience. The song, "Potter's Hand" was always one of my favorites, but now that phrase has a whole new meaning.

Spring Break in Ohio

For spring break I went home to be with my family. It was a great week that went by too quickly. I decided that I will make a list of the highlights:

In no particular order....
1. Learned how to knit (Thanks, Sherri!) :)
2. Watched enough Cavs' (Cleveland Caveliers) games to get myself hooked like the rest of my family.
3. Witnessed Lexie getting a bath which she hates!
4. Spent the day in Cleveland with my momma
5. Got to make some cash for the first time in way too long
6. Slept in
7. Wore flannel polar bear PJs that my momma got me...that may give you an idea of the weather
8. I beat some Guitar Hero songs on "Hard" with Brian...took us hours and even some headaches
9. Rented a lot of movies with Bri...most of which I fell asleep on
10. Had good converstations with each member of my family and was able to spend a good amount of time with each of them. God is good.

The Pursuit of God

Whenever I get some extra time from reading all the books I have for my classes, I have been reading, Wild at Heart by John Elderedge. So far, I have really enjoyed this book. A few weeks ago I was reading about how women long to be pursued by a man. I would have to agree. :) Then, it talked about how God also longs for us to pursue Him. I know that His word tells us to love Him with all of our hearts, our souls, and our minds. This would obviously mean basically the same thing. In my mind though, they were separate. I know that God wants our love and everything from us. But personally knowing and understanding the word "pursue," takes things to a different level. I want that man to pursue me because he loves spending time with me and wants to know me deeper. I want him to desire to know the silly little quirks about me. I want him to call me randomly during the day to let me know that he's thinking of me. It hit me this night that Jesus wants us to do the same. He wants us to long to be with Him and to know as much about Him as possible.

This past year has been a strange year for me in regards to friendships. Honestly....I have been struggling big time. I attach myself to people I love and would spend every minute with them if possible. Last week I was having a pity party for myself that things shouldn't be the way that they are. How could these people that I love not want to be with me all the time? I love them! Well, today God again brought me back to the idea of me pursuing Him. I heard Him say to me, "Amanda, I know your pain because I sometimes feel this from you. I want you to pursue me." Wow. Again God has shown me that I must continue to put Him before men.

Go pursue God...He is waiting!