"Someday I will do this, Lord. I just need to....." Fill in the blank. I do...all the time.
Yesterday when reading Oswald Chambers', My Utmost for His Highest, I felt extremely convicted and awakened. The passage of focus was Luke 9:51-62.
Basically, Jesus was heading to Jerusalem...close to the time that He was going to be crucified. He, James, and John were going through Samaritan villages (where there was a lot of tension at the time). The Samaritans didn't treat them well and James asked Jesus if He wanted him to bring down fire. Man...don't we feel like that sometimes? Lord, send some fire on that person or that situation because I don't want to deal with it anymore! I do.
As they walked further down the road, they came into contact with three different me. The first man said that he wanted to follow Jesus..."I will follow you wherever you go." (vs.57). Jesus knew his heart and basically was cold to him. At the first glimpse my tendency is to think that this is cruel and undeserving. However, God knew this man's heart. He knew that his intentions were not pure. Jesus requires more than lip service. The second man Jesus asked him to follow Him. He replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." The Lord responds again rather harsh and says to forget that and to do work for the Kingdom. The third man says, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back ans say good-by to my family." Jesus responds..."No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." WOW.
I find that I can relate to all of these men.
The first one...how many times have I said that I would do something but not had the right spirit or impure motives? The work of the Lord must be for His purpose and glory.
The second and third men....both give excuses. A father's death (or terminal sickness) and saying goodbye to family...valid excuses I think. Again Jesus knew their hearts. Maybe they did have the right motives, but maybe they were scared to take that next step. They didn't think that were ready. I feel that way a lot...and sometimes I don't realize that it is an excuse.
After reflecting on this passage, I started to think about the excuses that I have or am currently using from proclaiming the Kingdom. "I'm just a new teacher and trying to understand things still." "I love my family and shouldn't have to miss them so much. It must mean that I should live closer to home." "I am single and don't have anyone down here to help me. I'll do fill in the blank when I have a partner in ministry." "I probably need to finish my masters program before I worry about anything else." And my list goes on and on.
This passage opened my eyes really wide because Jesus is not messing around. When He calls us by name...we better listen and drop everything else. Does that mean that we should ditch the responsibilities that God has entrusted us with...no. But...we cannot use them as excuses. He has NO tolerance for excuses. If you have some time, read over this passage. There is a lot to it. And figure out what God is calling you to! Also, I encourage you to think about the excuses that you are making in life...even if they seem like really great things. They are there.
So...on a lighter note...
My class is still going super well. God has been great to give me patience and wisdom on how to start this year since I was very hesitant with my experience last year. Please continue to pray that my kids will see Jesus in me on a daily basis. Also, I have really started to connect with some of the teachers and look forward to continuing those relationships and sharing Jesus.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Do You Ever...
Do you ever just sit and get overwhelmed by God's love for us? Tonight is that night for me.
The past few weeks that I have been back in West Virginia have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life...feeling so alone and confused about what God is doing. I keep asking Him to show His face and have felt so distant from even Him. However, this weekend was absolutely wonderful. The only way that I can describe how I feel is like a fountain...bursting. Today at church God spoke clearly truth into my life...so much that my head is spinning. I am overjoyed and so thankful. I can honestly say that I am refreshed.
There are so many things in my life that I am sick of.
Me....me...and me. I am always worried about myself, and I am so quick to forget the big picture. I have been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan off and on. Chan makes the point that if we truly understood God's love for us and His holiness...we would have no other choice but to serve Him with our whole being. The problem is that we let life get in the way and make excuses. Man am I guilty of this.
There are so many things that I want.
I want so much to live each day like it is my last day and be joyful in ALL that God brings. I want to constantly be speaking words of truth into other people's life instead of worrying about my own emotions. I want to think of others lives as more important than mine. I want to feel the urgency of the Gospel. I want to love people enough that I am willing to use my entire life to see them accept the gift of eternal life. I want to care about myself being successful not to the world but in the eyes of my Father. I want to not "want"....but know that the Lord is my shepherd and that He gives me everything that I need to be content in this life. Most of all, I want Jesus to be glorified in me.
These are my prayers. It isn't going to be easy. But God is up to something, and I know that He is bigger than me.
"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
--Joshua 1:8
The past few weeks that I have been back in West Virginia have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life...feeling so alone and confused about what God is doing. I keep asking Him to show His face and have felt so distant from even Him. However, this weekend was absolutely wonderful. The only way that I can describe how I feel is like a fountain...bursting. Today at church God spoke clearly truth into my life...so much that my head is spinning. I am overjoyed and so thankful. I can honestly say that I am refreshed.
There are so many things in my life that I am sick of.
Me....me...and me. I am always worried about myself, and I am so quick to forget the big picture. I have been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan off and on. Chan makes the point that if we truly understood God's love for us and His holiness...we would have no other choice but to serve Him with our whole being. The problem is that we let life get in the way and make excuses. Man am I guilty of this.
There are so many things that I want.
I want so much to live each day like it is my last day and be joyful in ALL that God brings. I want to constantly be speaking words of truth into other people's life instead of worrying about my own emotions. I want to think of others lives as more important than mine. I want to feel the urgency of the Gospel. I want to love people enough that I am willing to use my entire life to see them accept the gift of eternal life. I want to care about myself being successful not to the world but in the eyes of my Father. I want to not "want"....but know that the Lord is my shepherd and that He gives me everything that I need to be content in this life. Most of all, I want Jesus to be glorified in me.
These are my prayers. It isn't going to be easy. But God is up to something, and I know that He is bigger than me.
"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
--Joshua 1:8
Monday, September 6, 2010
Recap
Well, it has been awhile since I've written. It seems that I always get inspired to write when it is way past my bedtime. Tonight is a perfect example of that.
A few hours ago, I returned back to War from a wonderful Labor Day weekend at home. My entire family was home (including my little Dylan). It was perfect with lots of laughter, fair food, and family time. Not only was it a long weekend, but the Canfield Fair, Ohio's largest fair, was going on. There is nothing like it, and it was wonderful to enjoy a great family tradition with all of my family. I also got to spend some time with my grandparents on my Gramps's 78th birthday. I am so greatly blessed to have each one of these people in my life. I love you!
Well, a quick school update...
Things are going really well! :) I have seen a huge difference in myself as a teacher this year, so I think that I am learning which is good. Also, it has been great to start the year with my kids. Talking is a huge problem...but talking I can deal with! :) Since it is so late, I will end with a funny story from the week.
In the hallway while in the bathroom line, two of my girls started talking to me. One of them said, "Miss Marshall, do you have any babies?" Oh great I thought, here we go again..."No." Then, she said of course, "do you have any husbands?" Again, "No." Then, she said what comes next, "do you have a boyfriend?" Again, staying patient, I smiled and said "No." The other little girl took this all in and finally bursted out, "Well, you sure look like a woman that has a husband and kids." Wondering what this meant while laughing, I asked her, "So what does a women that has a husband and kids look like?" She proceeded to tell me, "You know...she is a tall woman...and...she has a nice smile. And that is you." So, there you go. :)
Please continue to pray for this transition. For some reason I am still having a difficult time being back. Seeing my family this week was refreshing and also extremely difficult to leave again. Part of this I am sure is being at a new school and having a new class. I am praying that God would give me contentment in my heart and a joy each day to do all that He has in store. There are many new possibilities for ministries this year that I will talk about in another post...so I want to be ready to be His hands and feet. Thanks for reading and for praying! :)
A few hours ago, I returned back to War from a wonderful Labor Day weekend at home. My entire family was home (including my little Dylan). It was perfect with lots of laughter, fair food, and family time. Not only was it a long weekend, but the Canfield Fair, Ohio's largest fair, was going on. There is nothing like it, and it was wonderful to enjoy a great family tradition with all of my family. I also got to spend some time with my grandparents on my Gramps's 78th birthday. I am so greatly blessed to have each one of these people in my life. I love you!
Well, a quick school update...
Things are going really well! :) I have seen a huge difference in myself as a teacher this year, so I think that I am learning which is good. Also, it has been great to start the year with my kids. Talking is a huge problem...but talking I can deal with! :) Since it is so late, I will end with a funny story from the week.
In the hallway while in the bathroom line, two of my girls started talking to me. One of them said, "Miss Marshall, do you have any babies?" Oh great I thought, here we go again..."No." Then, she said of course, "do you have any husbands?" Again, "No." Then, she said what comes next, "do you have a boyfriend?" Again, staying patient, I smiled and said "No." The other little girl took this all in and finally bursted out, "Well, you sure look like a woman that has a husband and kids." Wondering what this meant while laughing, I asked her, "So what does a women that has a husband and kids look like?" She proceeded to tell me, "You know...she is a tall woman...and...she has a nice smile. And that is you." So, there you go. :)
Please continue to pray for this transition. For some reason I am still having a difficult time being back. Seeing my family this week was refreshing and also extremely difficult to leave again. Part of this I am sure is being at a new school and having a new class. I am praying that God would give me contentment in my heart and a joy each day to do all that He has in store. There are many new possibilities for ministries this year that I will talk about in another post...so I want to be ready to be His hands and feet. Thanks for reading and for praying! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)