Recap

Well, it has been awhile since I've written. It seems that I always get inspired to write when it is way past my bedtime. Tonight is a perfect example of that.

A few hours ago, I returned back to War from a wonderful Labor Day weekend at home. My entire family was home (including my little Dylan). It was perfect with lots of laughter, fair food, and family time. Not only was it a long weekend, but the Canfield Fair, Ohio's largest fair, was going on. There is nothing like it, and it was wonderful to enjoy a great family tradition with all of my family. I also got to spend some time with my grandparents on my Gramps's 78th birthday. I am so greatly blessed to have each one of these people in my life. I love you!

Well, a quick school update...

Things are going really well! :) I have seen a huge difference in myself as a teacher this year, so I think that I am learning which is good. Also, it has been great to start the year with my kids. Talking is a huge problem...but talking I can deal with! :) Since it is so late, I will end with a funny story from the week.

In the hallway while in the bathroom line, two of my girls started talking to me. One of them said, "Miss Marshall, do you have any babies?" Oh great I thought, here we go again..."No." Then, she said of course, "do you have any husbands?" Again, "No." Then, she said what comes next, "do you have a boyfriend?" Again, staying patient, I smiled and said "No." The other little girl took this all in and finally bursted out, "Well, you sure look like a woman that has a husband and kids." Wondering what this meant while laughing, I asked her, "So what does a women that has a husband and kids look like?" She proceeded to tell me, "You know...she is a tall woman...and...she has a nice smile. And that is you." So, there you go. :)

Please continue to pray for this transition. For some reason I am still having a difficult time being back. Seeing my family this week was refreshing and also extremely difficult to leave again. Part of this I am sure is being at a new school and having a new class. I am praying that God would give me contentment in my heart and a joy each day to do all that He has in store. There are many new possibilities for ministries this year that I will talk about in another post...so I want to be ready to be His hands and feet. Thanks for reading and for praying! :)

First Day

Since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of what the first day of school would be like as a teacher...since I knew at the age of 5 that I wanted to do this for a living. Well, last year I didn't get to experience that. Last night I could barely sleep thinking of all of the things I had to do, and excitement played a role.

Today was all that I wanted it to be...and I'm thanking the Lord. It looks like this year is going to be a wonderful one. There are a few talkers in my class...but I can deal with talkers. My 26 kiddos seem like a positive and meshed group.

So, highlights of the day...
-"Wow! You have nice teeth." --one of my little girls
-A girl puked because she had a headache. This was a first for me...and I almost puked myself as I held her hair.
-My kids were quiet in the halls...also a first.
-I was called "mam" on several occasions.
-I am no longer scared of fourth graders....they are still cute.

As I was standing outside watching the kids play for recess, I couldn't stop smiling. I may not know why I'm here or what God has in store...I'm just thankful that I'm doing what I love.

Be Still and Know that I am God...

As mentioned before, I am in War. It has been a busy week. One week from today I was packing and telling myself that it was going to be okay and trying to get excited about another year of seeking God in War.

I have to admit...the transition has not been easy. I had a wonderful weekend with my parents and then on Monday morning...it was harder than I thought to say goodbye. Shouldn't it be easier this time? For some reason, it wasn't. I think it is because I already know what is to come...somewhat. I know some of the challenges I will face and know how much I will miss my family. But, even in this sadness...God gave me peace. Didn't change the fact that once I got in my bed the first night, reality hit, and all I could do was cry and pray.

For several days before and every day since I have been here, I have been hearing God say to me, "Be still and know that I am God." I love this verse, and for some reason God has reminded me of it countless times daily. There are a lot of things that I question about being back. And I did even more yesterday when I got a call for an interview at a school in youngstown. Everything in me wanted to jet out and go. But I knew I couldn't...it didn't seem right. I immediately started praying for wisdom and so did my family. Monday I had to sign my contract for the year because teacher training started Tuesday. When I looked into my contract more, I realized that it would be almost impossible to get out. From that moment my position as a fourth grade teacher at a different school was not a thought or a question...it is what I am doing this year. It was good to have no more "what-ifs" out there even though the thought of my last chance of being home was now gone. Again, I heard God say, "Be still and know that I am God." I asked Him, "Why would You even allow Youngstown to call when You know how bad I wanted to be at home?" "Why did I sign my contract when I did?" And a million other questions. I don't know the answers just that I will rejoice in the Lord always because He is God!

Now that I have cancelled my interview, I have been able to emotionally and mentally accept my new teaching spot. I am happy. For some reason, God wants me here again. Why? Maybe I'll figure that out. But in the mean time, I am busy getting my classroom ready, and I have been thinking of every idea possible. I'm greatly looking forward to the next few days as busy as they will be. Even more excited about Thursday...a week from today...when I get to meet the kiddos that God has entrusted me with for this school year. I'm thankful that I don't have to be anxious about anything! HE is God!!! :)

So here is to round 2! :)

War is calling my name

Well, the decision has been made, the car is packed, the cell phone is purchased, the goodbyes have been said, and Lexie is already in mourning.

I leave in about an hour with my parents to head to Atlanta for a cousin's wedding. On our way back, my parents will drop me off at my house in War.

It has been a similar summer to last year...a little less crazy thankfully. I have been waiting to hear about a potential job in the Youngstown area. There have been many mixed feelings as I love to be with my family and thought the job sounded pretty much amazing. However, that door was closed yesterday. All summer I have been dreading the thought of leaving my family again and trying to do life in War. Honestly, nothing in me wanted to go. But, I kept praying that I would listen and be obedient and that God would give me the peace that I needed. It wasn't until I was at Taylor last week and driving home on Tuesday that the peace I needed came. So, when I heard that I didn't get the other job, I was okay. I know from last year that God has this all worked out. And I have to admit that there are several things I am excited about with returning to War. I'm excited to see those amazing people God blessed me with as friends. I'm excited to see Barb and Jerry...our landlords/neighbors. I'm excited to have a paycheck...yeah...big time. I'm excited to teach again. I'm excited to start new and be ready for the kids the first day instead of vice versa. And I'm most excited to see what God is going to do!

So...the next time I write, I will be in War and be preparing to start my 4th grade classroom.

Please pray for the transition with leaving my family again (this year is harder since I've become so attached to my lil nephew). Also, please pray as I set up my classroom and start at a new school this year. I am trying to remind myself to "be anxious for nothing." God is in control, and I am certain of that!

An Update...well kinda

I figured that since it has forever since I've written...it is time. There have been many times this summer that I felt like writing, but I have not had the words. I still feel this way.

Basic update= I've been at home since the middle of June. This time has flown by! I've spent a ton of time with my amazing family...especially my lil' man (my nephew). It has been so wonderful to be a full time aunt again! I love it!! He makes my heart :)


Job update= Don't have a clue. It is complex at this point, so I'll leave it at that for now. Stay tuned.


This summer I spent a little over a week with some friends from Taylor in New York City. One of my best friends and I were talking while there and she told me that she has been learning to find herself. At first, I tuned out. But then I realized she was talking about something deeper. The number one question this summer has been "what are you doing now?" I really don't know the answer to that...and man is it hard for me to say, "I don't know." Because I don't know and feel insecure, I started to take my friend 's advice. Take away everything that I know. People keep telling me, "You have to do what makes Amanda happy." My answer has come down to a simple truth...to follow what the Lord has for me. That is when I am the happiest and most content.


So I have been trying to take away pieces of myself that has become my identity...my profession as a teacher...graduating from Taylor...my family...my friends...my car...my own desires...


As I remove these things in my head, I want to see what is left. Is it a girl who is craving the Lord and following His steps? Still working on this...it is hard for me.

Well, this coming weekend I am heading to Indiana to meet up with my bestest...LB...and then we are going to Chicago to spend some QT together after a long year of craziness and living in different states for the first time since 7th grade. I miss her and I miss my friends. So, after we get back from Chi-town...I'm spending a few days around the Taylor area and catching up with friends. I cannot wait. I think I am going to work on packing now. :)

Here are just three pictures that sum up quite a lot from this summer...more to come.


My main man...who makes everything brighter!! :)


Taylor reunion #1: Amanda and Dauthan's wedding.

The friends that God blessed me with while in War, WV

A Year in War

Well, I am now back in Ohio with my family and can thankfully say that I have completed my first year of teaching. I have been home for a little over two weeks and have been busy. I first got to be a part of the beautiful wedding of two wonderful friends, Dauthan and Amanda. Not only was it wonderful to celebrate the love of these two, but almost all of my Taylor friends were there as well. It as a weekend of total bliss! It reminded me how thankful and blessed I am to have gone to a place like Taylor and to experience friendships that will be a part of my life forever! Other than that, I have been chasing around a busy little nineteen month old baby which has made me one happy and tired aunt. He is now full of personality and makes me laugh all day long. Also, I've spent lots of time with my family...we are all back at home this summer...so it is a full house. I absolutely love my family and am so thankful that I get to be a part of everyday life for at least this summer.



I would love to be able to tell you where I will be next year; however, I have absolutely no clue. All I know is that God knows, that He is faithful, and that I will wait and trust in Him. I've applied to the three states in which I hold teaching licenses and am willing to go wherever God leads me. Please pray that I will listen to His voice and direction.



Before I left, I was asked to write a reflection of my year in War. It was a great way for me to think about what God has done in an overall perspective instead of just day by day. I thought that I should share it with all of you, so if you're interested....follow the link!



Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement this past year. It was by far the most difficult year of my life, and I know that God put people like you in my life to lift me up and continue each day.



Much love.

The biggest thing that God has taught me this year through my experience living and teaching in War, WV is that God is faithful to meet my needs. I have known this my whole life, but starting my life on my own for the first time, I got to experience this faithfulness personally. From finding Laura, my roommate, to a car, to Christian landlords, to amazing friendships and a Bible believing church—God has met my every need. This doesn’t mean that living in War has been easy. Honestly, some days I feel like it has been literal war. There have been days that I’ve wondered what I’m doing here and why God led me here to a place that is seven hours from my family and feels like another country…especially when I am hand drying my clothes, driving over thirty minutes to a store or cell phone reception, and constantly being asked if these are my real teeth! However, God has continued to confirm in my heart that He has led me here. He has given me a peace that I am right where I need to be even if it isn’t easy. Through these times He has reminded me that His grace is enough for me. That is all I need. And that is what He has given me—enough to take one day at a time in His hands and not my own. He knew that I was not strong enough to endure this all on my own, and He has kept me on my knees. I am so thankful for this because it has brought a new dependence on Him.

At the end of October, I walked into a room of 18 second and third graders that had been sitting and goofing off for two months with a substitute who told me, “Good luck; these kids cannot learn.” She went on to point to the kids who were behavior problems and then pointed to one of my second graders. She told me that he often put the desk on his neck and would try to kill himself. Then she left. I was told that I would have help that entire first week and to just observe. No one came; so I hit the ground running. I knew that I had my work cut out for me starting late, having a classroom full of behavior issues, and being a first year teacher. Even though I was overwhelmed, I came in very confident that I was going to change things. Quickly God showed me that I had to rely on Him not only every day but almost every second in my classroom in order to survive.

I asked God for His eyes and His heart, and He has given that to me. During these past eight months, I have grown to love these kids like my own. I ended the year with 22 students as they come in and out from home to home. They each have a story that will break your heart, but under each of their anger and pain is a soft heart that is screaming for love and for structure. I honestly don’t know how much they will take away from this year academically, but I know they will leave knowing that their teacher loves them and believes in them.

Being very inquisitive children, they have asked me a million questions throughout the year. A lot of these have been about who I am as a person. They immediately saw a difference. It could have been my full set of teeth or my northern accent, but I know that it was more than that—it was God. They didn’t understand at first why I didn’t yell and why I’d never tried drugs or why I didn’t have babies even though I wasn’t married. They would often say, “Miss Marshall, you’re crazy.” Through these times, God gave me countless opportunities to tell my kids why I live the way I do and why I have joy. Once I even shared the whole Gospel. There were a few times when my kids even asked to pray in my class. I know that God worked in this little room where a group of kids thought that they were extras and unloved. He loved them enough to send a sheltered girl from Ohio all the way to them. The kid who tried to kill himself has turned out to grab my heart more than I could have imagined even though he probably has caused the most trouble. He has seen that no matter what type of fits he throws, I still love him. After about a month of these spells, he calmed down. Not saying that there were never bad days that followed, but he learned to control his anger more. And there was seldom a day that went by that I didn’t get a hug and a “I love you” from this kid. Changes like these have given me hope.

I know that I serve a big God that is mighty to save. The children and the people of McDowell county need to see that there is hope and light instead of darkness and despair. I am so thankful that God has allowed me to be a missionary to this area through teaching. It is exciting to know that God is not finished here. He is the God of this city.

Break my Heart for What Breaks Yours...

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with hurt and pain that others experience...

I am sensitive and feel other's hurts...

I want to change things and make things easier...

I want peace...





Today I am reminded of my Father and how His heart must break constantly for His children. My prayer since I have been here this year has been to give me the eyes and heart of Jesus. Not that I am to that point, but I believe God has allowed me to feel some of that pain. I'm thankful, humbled, and broken.

This afternoon I had a meeting with the parents of one of my students. This boy is very behind in all academic areas, and I am trying to get him some extra help that I feel he needs. I should first mention that I know that he has a rough home life. He is constantly asking for any type of food, his clothing is usually not the cleanest, and he is socially behind in many skills. Also, about two weeks ago I met with his grandparents...who he lives with. During that conversation, they belittled him in front of me. The word "dummy" came up several times. Needless to say, I could easily see why my little guy is so frustrated and constantly tells me that he is not smart and can't do his work. Well, today I met with the mom and her live-in boyfriend. When introduced, she said that she had already met me...which was not true. Then, she asked me if he was in third grade. Wow. The school has paperwork that the parents must fill out in this process, and some of it they could not read. One part asked if he was retained before. They didn't know. I was overwhelmed....this is his mother...who wants custody back. She went on to tell me that I should just sit this boy by himself and punish him if he doesn't do his work. It was the first time that I felt like I was able to fight for my kids in a parent meeting. I knew that I had my principal's support, so I explained what I thought. I told them how I thought he was discouraged and just needed people to believe in him. Yes...he does need extra help academically. However, he needs a lot more than learning his basic facts. I left the meeting upset that some people are parents. Later, I talked with this student and found out that this boyfriend of his mother's hits him and kicks him. He told me that he hopes he doesn't have to go back home with them.

I am at loss for words most days when I hear something about my kids. This is just one story out of 22. Some days I think, "God, why would you put such a sheltered girl like me into a room full of kids that experience hell on earth daily?" I still don't know why fully. I just know that I'm called to love them. I do. So much that it hurts.

There are only fourteen more days of school left with my little ones. I have to admit that I am relieved to be done with all of the behavior problems that come with my job. However, I will miss them like crazy. My prayer is that God would continue to open opportunities for me to share my faith with them. I am so thankful that He has already made this possible numerous times this year. They know who I am and why I am that way. They know that I have hope. I want this for them! Please pray for my kids and that God would replace the anger and hatred they feel with love.

Even though their lives seem like they can't change and that there are so many things against them...which there are...God is bigger! He is not willing that ONE should perish. He is full of compassion and love. He can move mountains and change a heart of stone. So thankful tonight that I have a God who is mighty to save!!