Do You Ever...

Do you ever just sit and get overwhelmed by God's love for us? Tonight is that night for me.

The past few weeks that I have been back in West Virginia have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life...feeling so alone and confused about what God is doing. I keep asking Him to show His face and have felt so distant from even Him. However, this weekend was absolutely wonderful. The only way that I can describe how I feel is like a fountain...bursting. Today at church God spoke clearly truth into my life...so much that my head is spinning. I am overjoyed and so thankful. I can honestly say that I am refreshed.

There are so many things in my life that I am sick of.

Me....me...and me. I am always worried about myself, and I am so quick to forget the big picture. I have been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan off and on. Chan makes the point that if we truly understood God's love for us and His holiness...we would have no other choice but to serve Him with our whole being. The problem is that we let life get in the way and make excuses. Man am I guilty of this.

There are so many things that I want.

I want so much to live each day like it is my last day and be joyful in ALL that God brings. I want to constantly be speaking words of truth into other people's life instead of worrying about my own emotions. I want to think of others lives as more important than mine. I want to feel the urgency of the Gospel. I want to love people enough that I am willing to use my entire life to see them accept the gift of eternal life. I want to care about myself being successful not to the world but in the eyes of my Father. I want to not "want"....but know that the Lord is my shepherd and that He gives me everything that I need to be content in this life. Most of all, I want Jesus to be glorified in me.

These are my prayers. It isn't going to be easy. But God is up to something, and I know that He is bigger than me.

"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
--Joshua 1:8