This is my sixth week of student teaching....it is seriously flying by!! When people ask how it is going, I simply say, "I love it!" And I do! Every morning when I walk through those doors, I get excited for what is ahead. Being with these students has brought me so much joy which has been so comforting and encouraging. I know that I am right where God wants me. I laugh either to myself or aloud all day long. Today was one of those out loud experiences! One of my students who is a handful to say the very least, decided to beat up a baby doll. Knowing how devastating this would be to a little girl as I myself once related to this, I took the baby doll away and put it next to another baby doll...but I couldn't help laughing when this kid said, "ah, shoot....looky there...twins!" It really isn't that funny writing this, but I seriously could not control my laughter and had to walk away. Whether it is something like that or a nine year old asking me to be his girlfriend...there is always laughter! Besides laughter, I am learning SO MUCH! I am now teaching full time and am really enjoying it. It has been a unique week since ISTEP (Indiana's standardized test) is occurring. Next week we will begin with ISTEP and end the week with a field trip and then all day in-service at Taylor which will be exciting. I really miss being a part of the Taylor community and really miss attending chapel. I think that even though it has been difficult in many aspects to not experience the normal TU life, it has been so good for me. God has taught me so much already, and the year has just begun!
Since I arrived at Taylor, God has been really speaking to my heart about surrender. I have a really difficult time letting anything or anyone go that I love...especially when it is my family and close friends. For years I have struggled with putting my family and friends as my first priority. I guess I just rationalized it by making God a really close 2nd. However, this year God has begun to show me areas in my life that can no longer be that way. I am so thankful for the change that he has been making in my heart. I was reading in Genesis about how God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac. He only waited 100 years to have this kid! What must have Abraham thought as he walked up the mountain beside his precious son who asks his father, "Dad, where's the lamb?". I was awestruck as Abraham responds, "God will provide the lamb," thinking at that point that it was his own son. Then, when God sees Abraham's heart, he blesses him for listening to His voice and being willing to give up his son, his only son- for His sake. This passage jumped out at me as I realized I am experiencing just a glimpse of this situation. God may not have me move thousands of miles away from my family and those I love, but He may. And either way, He wants to know that I am willing and trusting. I have said that I will go anywhere He leads me, but it has taken me a long time to realize that it must mean more than words or intentions but a total surrender of myself. I can't say that I am there all of the way...but I know that my faithful and loving God is molding my heart and holding my hand.
With the whole surrender issue and other situations, I have been very emotional this semester thus far. Even though there is pain and uncertainty, strangely enough I am so content and happy at where I am. I thank God for the joy that He has given me.
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