Dear Santa

For the hallway decor, the third grade teachers have decided to put up "Dear Santa" letters from our kids. Well, most of my kids are like kids everywhere...I want an IPod, computer, cell phone, PS4...what there is a 4th one?!?! Anyways, kids will be kids. There was even one of my little rascals that wrote in his letter, "I will send you a present if you promise to get me everything on my list." That cracked me up!!

Today I also got my first Christmas present from one of my kids. She had a box all wrapped up and inside was an old stuffed animal and old blanket. Also, there was a bottle of shampoo from a hotel. Precious. I LOVE that she wanted to give me a present so bad that she searched her things. These are the moments that I absolutely live for.

One of my trouble making kids decided yesterday that he didn't want AnYtHiNg for Christmas and told me over and over. Today he decided that he would write something. So pretty soon he handed me a folded up piece of paper that said To: Santa and had From: his name. When I opened it up, it read, "Dear Santa, For Christmas I want to see my dad." Yeah...what do you say to that? Oh these little precious ones. I feel so sad that they have to deal with SO much at such a young little age.

Please pray for my kiddos. Tomorrow is our Christmas party. I am going to be reading about the meaning of the candy cane and talking about the true meaning of Christmas.

Thanks! :) Well, one week from now I will be HOME!!! YAY!!! I am really excited to spend some extended time with my precious family....including Lexie Lou and my little Dylan. :)

More than Students

Is it Christmas break yet?!?! haha!! This weekend was SO much fun! My roommate and I had an ugly Christmas sweater party at our house with some of our new friends from church. Yay for people my age!!! So, the previous week was spent baking and preparing for our party. It was so refreshing to laugh till we cried and to be in the presence of Christian friends once again. God is good to bring these people into my life...He knew I needed this!


For Laura's birthday, we went to a Japanese Steakhouse...yum!!!

Ugly Christmas sweater party!

So today I went into to school and things were the same...so hard and frustrating. To be honest, there have been days when I sit and think that I cannot be a teacher and that I must be crazy. However, I am always quickly reminded why I am here...it is so much more than a job. Each day with my kids seems to bring more ache to my heart as I hear more and more of their personal life beyond my classroom.

On Friday, my kids each got a shoebox from a Christian organization. I heard from other teachers that they were lame and just had some random hygiene things in them. Well, you would have thought that they were boxes of gold in my classroom. Each box had a Bible, some type of book, hat, scarf, gloves, toys, socks, and a toothbrush. They were modeling their new winter attire for me and prancing around the room at the end of the day. Side note....earlier that morning I had my kids sit down on the new reading beach blanket as I read them a story. I told them that they needed to take their shoes off in order to keep the blanket from getting really dirty each day. All of the kids listened and soon I heard, "Eww..." followed by "shut up and leave her alone." As I looked over, one of my little girls had white socks that appeared black with dirt. I quickly changed the subject and started reading. As I read, I noticed that she tried to pull her pants down some to cover her socks. This girl usually wears the same sweater each day. Part one of heart breaking!...Back to the shoe boxes. Well, later on, the kids again went on the blanket. While kids were taking their shoes off, I noticed this little girl switching out her socks for her new pair. Wow. Again my heart broke. What may seem like a stupid hygiene box to some is a treasure to others.

Today I found out that an old family friend's grand-baby died...only 2 years old. His mother wrote in a letter that through all of the pain of the loss and agony, she is so thankful that God chose her to be this little boy's mom...that she was the blessed one. Overwhelmed with this, I started thinking about my kids. I am so broken for these little lives. They are so much more than students. They are God's beloved. How his heart must break when they go home to unloving, abusive, and dysfunctional families. But how blessed am I that God entrusted me to get to spend the majority of the day just loving them.

God is continuing to remind me why I am here and to open my eyes to His hurting children. Today in my devotions I read about how God's mark of approval on our lives is the peace that He gives us. We know when we have surrendered and followed His will when we receive this peace. I am thankful for this peace in West Virginia. If that is not enough, I got a call yesterday from another school in Akron that I interviewed for. It was during the same time as my current job's interview. I soon found out that I was hired here and never did hear from the other school...until yesterday. They said that they lost a teacher and would love to welcome me to their team. Honestly, my first thought was HOME!!! Boo-ya!!! haha! Then I instantly thought of my kids and that there is no way that I would leave them. And that peace in the midst of frustration and challenge came again. My next thought was how awesome God was in ordaining my every move. That was one less obstacle to get me down here since they didn't offer me the job right away. Maybe I would have taken it. But God allowed everything to work together because this is where He wants me. I am so blessed tonight.

Please pray for my kids. Their stories are more than I can take but I know that God's shoulders are big enough. Pray that they would experience love in my classroom...a new kind of love. Praise the Lord for many many opportunities to share my love for God with them! Pray that this would continue as I incorporate the true meaning of Christmas these next few days. Pray that this Christmas maybe one of these little ones would have a new hope.

Funny Story of the Day

So as many of you know...being serious is not something that I am very good at...at least not when something funny is happening. Well, my kids are always making me laugh...even when I know that they are being really horrible. I usually try to turn my head quickly, but there are some times when that smile and even laughter escapes for all to see.

My class today...like most days...was like a zoo. I was trying to get the kids to calm down and do math, so I told them to put their heads down and turned off the lights. Of course to some kids, that meant to get up and run around. There is one boy in particular who decided that it was time for hide-and-seek! So here I am checking each locker to find this a student. After about the third locker I just started cracking up at this situation. What?!?!? Some days I really think that I'm on the funny farm. I am thankul for laughter! :)

For Such a Time as This

Thanksgiving....what a wonderful time! I was so refreshed to go home and spend some quality time with my family. I needed this more than I even knew. Being a huggy person, I have not had my fix of close proximity with many people since everyone here is still somewhat new. So, I made sure to fill up at home with lots and lots of hugs and kisses! Lexie Lou helped me out with this, too:

So that is my Lexie...precious huh? :) Anyways, I also got to see my little nephew who is now ALL over the place!! He is hilarious and so much fun! I had to keep reminding myself that I will be back in a few weeks, otherwise I would have had a much more difficult time saying good-bye to this little one.





I also went out shopping on Black Friday for about 9 hours...but not super early. It was a relaxing day of shopping with the fam. The rest of my break was spent on the couch with my family watching the Cavs or falling asleep during a movie. It could not have been more perfect! Here is a picture of how cute we all looked in our Cavs gear:



So as I was preparing to go home and while I was there, I could not help but think of my nineteen little kiddos that would be celebrating differently. It hit me so hard that I was escaping back to a family that loves me unconditionally and that is SO blessed and full of love. My kids don't have this no matter what day it is. While I was at home, I showed my family my kids' pictures and told each of their stories as I know them. Telling them about each kid, I finally just broke. Something about seeing repeatedly the brokenness that almost each one experiences was too much for me. I knew that most of them had difficult lives, but telling them all at one time was so hard. There are about four kids of mine that MAY live with both of their parents....that doesn't mean that they are in a good situation. The comforting part was being able to show my family their faces and know that they will now be specifically prayed for. As sad as I was, it also made me even more determined to be the light and hope that these kids so desperately need and some are craving. I know that God is up to something!

Tonight I decided to read from Esther...one of my favorite books of the Bible. I did a study on this book last spring and really got a lot out of it, so I figured I would look at some of the key passages. I turned to chapter 4 where Mordecai is telling Esther that she needs to plead to the king for her people. Esther's message is...are you kidding??? I could die by going unannounced into his presence. I mean...he hasn't even wanted to see me in 30 days! Mordecai responds to her in verse 14, "For if YOU remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but YOU and YOUR father's family will perish. And who knows but that YOU have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

Ok...so I'm not royalty...

But this passage really spoke to me because if Esther did not speak for her people, she would be destroyed. She had to be selfless and come to the place where she saw the big picture...others' lives. She was an orphan girl brought up by Mordecai, her cousin. EVERYTHING played out perfect in order for her to become the queen because the Lord wanted her there and had a purpose for little Hadassah. This was her time...God had brought her there for a reason, and she needed to stop thinking and start acting!

I am sometimes so overwhelmed with the daily behavior issues that I can quickly get wrapped up in discouragement and not see the big picture...that the Lord has brought me here for this time. My aunt told my mom today that God must have a purpose for me being here because He has taken me all around the world but out of all of the places, He has planted me in War, WV.

Please pray that I can be like Esther, selfless. I want to love passionately and with my whole being.

Joy Comes in the Morning

I don't really know where to begin with this week! It probably has been one of the most difficult in my life. There hasn't been one day that I have left school thinking that it has been easy, but this week I left feeling like I was going to cry each day.

The week started so wonderful. Last Sunday evening Laura and I got together with all of the other teachers and some pastors from this area. We were able to share our experiences so far and to really encourage one another in the Lord. We prayed fervently, and for the first time I was able to see the big picture of why the Lord had brought each of us to this school district. It was such an encouraging time, and I left so excited to begin the week!

Then Monday came... As I mentioned in my previous post, the state department was at our school all week, so everyone was under a lot of stress and extra pressure. I felt like there were so many things that I needed to get done on top of my already survival teaching mode. So, each night my roommate and I were up till around 12 or 1...if you are a teacher you know that is way past bedtime! Anyways, on top of just feeling exhausted, my students were more than I could handle.

So many things have happened this week...too many to mention. It is hard to believe but four of my students were suspended by the principal for their behavior and one is probably going to join that number. 2nd and 3rd grade! WHAT? Yeah...behavior issues here are not the same. Talking to my mom the other day I was saying how I should be worrying about coming up with creative lesson plans and how to reach my kids different learning styles...the exciting work of a teacher. Instead, I don't even feel like I have been able to teach because I have been too busy trying to stop the constant chaos. On top of all of that, I found out that two of my students have serious mental issues. Basically, all of this threw me over the top this week.

I know that this post has seemed really negative so far. Sorry. :( I'm not writing so that you feel sorry for me...I hope that you don't. I still know that this is where I am supposed to be. I would just ask that you please pray for me. It seems that the Lord thinks I am much stronger than I do! There are certain promises that I am clinging to during this time. One is that He is faithful and that His love never fails. Another one is that He works everything for good to those that love Him. Finally, I keep reminding myself that His mercies are new every morning. I have to keep telling myself this daily. A huge blessing was that Friday was my favorite day so far....however, I had 8 absent! haha! It was the very first time that I was able to remember what it was like to be excited about TEACHING again and to have students actively engaged and excited. I am praying that next week is half as good as Friday! Thank you to those of you who have been praying and who been an encouragement to me. I truly appreciate it!

On a really positive note, this weekend has been really great so far. I just got back tonight from a staff retreat which was 2 hours away. It was in a beautiful lodge in the mountains...AMAZING beauty!! 3 deer were waiting for me as I woke up this morning. I am so thankful that I was able to enjoy God's creation as it was so refreshing. Also, there was a chance for me to share my faith with the whole staff by being picked to read my writing during a workshop. God is working, and I'm excited about that! :)

Now I am going to enjoy some Gilmore Girls with my roommate. :)

Here is a picture of me in front of the beautiful lake that Laura and I hiked to on our lunch break!

Prayer Changes Things

So this week has been really really difficult and tiring. The state department has been in and out of our school and will be observing our teaching tomorrow. I feel like this week has shown me how far away I am from a functional classroom...so I have been really overwhelmed. I keep reminding myself that ALL things are possible through God. I know that I CANNOT do this on my own strength...not possible. I have to continuously hand this over to God. I can elaborate more on this week later, but I must work on lesson plans now for a few hours. Please if you can just say a prayer tonight and tomorrow especially about the state. However, please keep praying for me to have the strength needed to pour into these kids even when my flesh is weak and weary.

Signs that I Live in a Small Town

So another week in! Praise the Lord! This week was a four day week since WV has off for Veteran's Day! Honestly, this was a MUCH needed day! I thought that the beginning of the week went fairly well, but Thursday was by far the hardest day with my kids. They were out of control!!! I am learning quickly about behavior management and discipline...probably more than I ever had hoped for. Unfortunately, these kids lack structure and discipline so much. So, I know that it is what they need...I just HATE it!! I sometimes wish that I could just be that sweet Miss Marshall always with a smile! :)

I am sure that you are dying to know how I spent my day off on Wednesday! Well...Tuesday night my roommate and I went out with our new friend, Dan...another teacher...and had some great Mexican food and remembered that we were in our early twenties again. It was so nice to stay up late and not have to worry about the next morning! After dinner, we came back to our house and played some cards and laughed about our new lives! So...Wednesday I slept in till 11:30! AMAZING!!! Laura asked me if I was in the mood for some biscuits and gravy for breakfast. If you know me...that answer is always yes! However, we realized that we didn't have the right ingredients to make our own. After much contemplation, we decided to drive 20 minutes to the nearest McDonald's for breakfast. We stayed in our PJs since we would only be going through the drive through. Well....on the way we soon realized that we would miss breakfast...so we stopped at a convenient store that had a restaurant in the middle of it. We were slightly embarrassed by our attire, but strangely enough, no one even seemed to think we looked funny. May I just add that I was wearing pink slipper boots with fake fur on them?!?! Also, our hair was not combed and makeup was nowhere to be found. Get the picture?!?! :) So we check out the menu and see biscuits and gravy! yes! Well, then we are told that they are out of gravy. fabulous! So, we settled for another breakfast choice that was still probably better than McDonald's. I guess I was not meant to have biscuits and gravy that day. I stayed in my PJs the WHOLE day and watched several episodes of Gilmore Girls...which I am now hooked on....and then finally did some school work. It was basically a wonderful day!! :)

To celebrate the weekend being here, Laura and I met up with Dan again to have dinner at Wendy's...a luxury these days! Then, we went to the movie theatre there....which is actually super nice...and saw 2012. I really enjoyed it; however, there were so many over dramatized parts that made me laugh. I don't agree that the world is going to come to an end in 2012...although it could...but that is for the Lord to choose. He says that NO MAN will know the day or the hour. Also, the movie was three hours...and you could feel it. Besides that, I think overall it was a good movie, and I'm glad I got to see it!

Oh...and tonight when I was driving Laura and I home, we saw a possum in the middle of the road just chewing away on some roadkill. lovely! Really glad it wasn't a deer! ;)



Going with recent tradition, I will leave you with a new list:

SIGNS THAT I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN:
-There is a Street Sweeper...seriously seems like Disney World...without the magic!
-People at the bank know me by name after the second visit
-There's only one post office man--Ira. War would be lost if he got sick!
-every one knows where you live....for example...when I lost my ipod last Saturday, it was found by a lady I've never seen before and given to my landlord. Then, she knew that I had the white car. Wow!
-Before I pump gas, I have to ask the cashier to turn on the gas.
-Restaurants are literally inside other stores such pharmacies or convenient stores

As much as I think that these things are really funny...I must say that I really am enjoying the Southern hospitality!

Well, I best be heading to bed now. Sleeping in tomorrow and trying to get LOTS of school work done!! I hope that I am as productive as I hope!!