Do you ever feel like you have no clue what God is doing, but you know it is something?? Wow...it makes me so excited!! Like really exciting! I want to tell all of you what God is speaking to me about and things that I need prayer for.
A few years ago, I sat down with my mom and dad, and we made goals for ourselves. They included personal and spiritual goals. I would like to say that I met all of those goals in a year, but even though they stayed on the refrigerator all year, I didn't. This New Year's Eve was different for me. I decided to spend some time praying about what God wanted of me instead of what I wanted. In just a short hour of prayer, God had revealed to me so much. I am still processing all of it after almost a month.
First of all, the overall thing that God has spoken to me about is trust. I have always felt like I am a trusting person. I am open, and I allow people into my life and heart very quickly. This has sometimes even got me into trouble. ha. It has been interesting to me to see that this is where God is teaching me the most. I remember telling God as I was praying, "But I do trust You. I left my family and went to War for two years. I have tried to make my decisions on what You have for me. I know You will bring me the man that you have for me someday. I will go anywhere You want me to go because...I do TRUST You." I knew that there was more to it though. The past several weeks, God has been showing me that yes...I am learning what it means to trust God; however, my actions do not always match my heart.
I have been quick to worry which is exactly the opposite of trust. I worry about where I'll be next year, what kids I will be with, if I will be alone or with a friend. I worry that I may be single too long or forever. I worry that I will have to go alone to some crazy place. Oh wait...God has already showed me how that will go. When talking to my best friend, Laura, the other night. She reminded me that I didn't know anyone when I came to War. I remember not being worried because I knew that God was with me. He blessed abundantly and has given me a roommate, neighbors, and friends that love Him and want to use their lives to serve Him. Thinking about two years ago and how God has molded me and grown me closer to Him...and provided for EVERY need, has helped me to see that I have nothing to be afraid of. It is silly actually to not trust Him. I know this in my heart, and when I take myself away from everything and focus on Him, I am confident in His love and provision...and I want nothing else.
God has shown me that even though we are getting somewhere with this trust, He wants more. He wants all of me. He has been revealing to me things in my lifestyle that need a drastic change. For instance, going to bed an hour earlier so that I can wake up an hour earlier and spend that time with Him instead of squeezing Him into my teaching schedule. He has shown me through my finances how I need to trust Him more. He has shown me with relationships especially how I need to trust Him more.
This year I know is going to be an adventure and full of ups and downs like other years. However, I really believe that God is up to something so big, and I am thrilled to be a part of it!
Another thing that I have been thinking and praying about the past few weeks is what is that "next step." It goes with the trust issue. Since I was a junior in high school, I have felt a very specific calling from Jesus on my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt that He has called me to not have a "normal life." He has opened my eyes to a hurting world that He loves. Faces of children that are living in poverty are forever ingrained in my mind. Farida, my compassion child, is a constant reminder of this as well. Well, thinking about it and praying about it is awesome. But Jesus commands us to GO. We must put feet to our faith. I think of Moses at the Red Sea and God basically tells him, "Moses, what are you waiting for! GO" I feel this way. I've asked for confirmation and guidance. My passion for the world and God's people has only increased. Nothing gets my blood flowing more than talking about it. As I've reflected over this, it only makes sense to take the next step in pursing what I believe God is leading me towards.
As some of you know, since 2006 when I traveled to Burkina Faso, I have had a new passion for education. I've seen with my eyes what happens when education is lacking. Poverty shows its nasty face and links that person and family into the heavy chain that doesn't seem to be broken. I remember visiting schools that were barely existing, and there weren't trained teachers to really help educate the kids. I also remember leaving my doors of the beautiful international school that I taught at in 2008 and seeing children everywhere who spent their days trying to scrape some money for them and their family. This is not the way God designed it. The more I read the Gospels, the more I am convinced that we are responsible for helping these people. I know I am. He has given me these experiences and this knowledge and passion for a reason. More than to think about it.
The past two years of teaching has been challenging and a learning experience. I had no clue what teaching was...really till this year. I'm still learning, and I love it. Everything about it...well almost. I know that I have been given this as a way to reach children one by one. I've seen the impact that a kind word can make on a child. I've also seen the reality of being a light in darkness. It is indescribable. Through working in the school system, I've thought about what that next step is professionally. I know I want to get my masters degree...but in what? My dream since Burkina in 2006 has been to help give children access to education. I didn't know what that looks like, but I know that is a step in letting kids know that they are valuable and have so much potential in God's eyes. I've told a lot of people about this dream. My thoughts were that maybe I could help start house schools where there would be foster parents for the kids and an education. I don't know even who it was, but someone told me about a year ago that I should look into curriculum. I thought about this. Well, a year later, I am looking into a Master's Degree that will be in Curriculum Development and Instruction. There are several universities that offer this (including many with online classes). This degree would basically help me go into schools that already exist and are struggling. I would hopefully be able to stay for an extended amount of time where I would train teachers in instruction, review the curriculum and make changes where needed, and help to get the school being a success one where students are learning and being loved in the process. Oh...and hearing about this great Father!! :) It still seems like this is a far off process, but I want to move in this direction and feel more and more like this is something God has lead me to.
So...what Grad School. Still in the beginning stages of that, but I have started to apply to two so far and will be looking into several others that have a program like this. One is Youngstown State. I had been thinking about coming home next year to start paying off my school loans more aggressively so that I could go overseas sooner. However, I know that I need much more training. I want to teach still while I pursue my degree. I miss my family and being a part of their lives so much. I don't know what the future holds, so I would love to spend a year or two being together as after that, I may be overseas or somewhere else in the States. When I realized that YSU has an amazing program for Curriculum and Instruction and that it is super inexpensive compared to others I looked at, I have been somewhat excited..okay a lot. I am praying about this. I don't want to go home due to my selfishness.
The other option would be to take online courses somewhere and either stay in War or teach somewhere else. At this point, I don't have a specific place in mind. I have spent this day in prayer and want to continue to do that as I have the time...SNOW DAY!! :)
Getting back to the trust issue. I know that God knows where I'll be. He knows how I will get there as well. I love this! There are a lot of changes that I want to make to put actions to my trust. This is a daily process for me. Please pray that I would be obedient to whatever God has for me. I truly am excited about what that is. My flesh gets scared at time, but my heart knows better. Please pray that God would be so clear to me what the "next step" is. Pray that I would hear that still, small voice. I only want to go where He wants me.
Also, please pray for one of my students. He came late into the year...probably early October. He is one of the sweetest boys his age and one of my top students. Total joy. I've heard rumors that he has had a difficult life and that he has been in and out of shelters for years....so he has moved schools a lot. Well, I loved having him as a student, and last Thursday was his last day. His father is now in jail, so his family is moving back to the shelter. I miss him so much, and it has been really difficult for me to know he didn't want to go and that he is so affected by other people's actions. Please pray that this sweet little boy will keep his determination and be reminded of His heavenly Father that is consistent and never changes.
I was going to apologize for the length of this blog...but I realized almost all of them are this long. I want to write some highlights from my class soon and some funny stories. Coming soon!
Love to you all. My hope is that today you experience God's love and that you can share it with someone else. :)
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The Beauty of Remaining in His Love
I really need to work on blogging more frequently, so that I don't have a million things to write about; however, today is like most. Warning...lots of thoughts.
First, some of you are probably wondering how the "I Admire You" dinner went a few weeks ago. For those of you that didn't know about it...my home church, North-Mar from Warren, Ohio, decided that they wanted to come down and have a dinner for my kids. The goal was to increase parent communications and to just show the love of Jesus. Parent involvement is a difficult thing in McDowell. Often no matter how well things are planned, the number of parents is low. My little faith had me doubting that parents would come. I kept praying that this would be different. In class, I had my kids write letters to their person that they invited about why they admire them. The letters were amazing and so heart warming. They took these very seriously, and I was so proud of them. I knew that the parents/adults that were invited would be touched if they showed up. Well, Thursday rolled around and I had a wonderful response from the parent forms and the kids themselves...however, I still doubted that they would come that night. About an hour before school let out, the 7 people from North-Mar arrived, and they came to my class. They read the "Candy Cane Story" to the kids which was an awesome way to share about the love of Jesus. Then, the kids who wanted to read their letters aloud did for extra practice. We ended the day with a fun game of "Down by the Banks" (a hand game that is a favorite in our class). The kids were super hyped up, and I knew right away that God was in this and that He was going to blow us all away. Every little detail of the day came together, and by 5:45PM, there were several kids waiting to get in the cafeteria for the dinner that began at 6:30PM. Out of 26 kids, 23 of them plus their special guest of honor showed up. The cafeteria was packed, and everyone was happy to be there. The response from the adults was amazing and so encouraging. As a teacher, I feel like there is sometimes a wall between parents and I. This wall was broken as parents were touched and reached. Many came up to hug me, and there were smiles everywhere. Honestly, I was overwhelmed by how God used North-Mar to bridge this gap. Every prayer was answered in the fullest and overflowing. Thank You, Jesus. After three weeks, I still am so excited about this! Not only did this help with parent communication, but it also showed my kids that there are people in this world that have love and joy. Many comments were made from my kids such as, "Miss Marshall, your friends are all nice. They are such happy people." Even though there was no preaching, I am positive that many kids knew that this love and joy was from the almighty God! He is so good! Thank you North-Mar and thank You, Jesus!!!
As far as my classroom...things are still going fairly well. I am loving teaching still, and God is working so much in my relationships with the staff. This past month has been somewhat difficult for me as I have dealt with selfishness and uncontentment; however, I have also seen my heart finally feel at home with my school. It is a great feeling. The selfishness and uncontentment are still a work in progress. I get discouraged so many days and wonder what I am doing here. I still miss my family like crazy. Most of all, I feel alone here. I know that my Jesus is here at all times! THANK YOU! As a person who loves to be face to face and in close proximity to those I love, this year has just been difficult. I miss hugs from the people I love and having the opportunity to have coffee dates and heart to hearts with friends. Also, God has opened and shut a few doors. They have been difficult at times to deal with, but He has reminded me again that He alone is God. I just need to be still. The other day I was having a huge pity party for myself. I was out of the Word for a few days, and I just was sad at my circumstances and basically....just ridiculous. Then, my mother who always brings me back to God's truth...reminded me of my God. How can I doubt a God who knows my name and who sees every tear I cry? He is the one that has given me my passions in life that I long to serve Him with. So, why would I doubt that He has the best plans for me? It is ridiculous to even think of doubting Him. But I unfortunately do at times. I hate that.
In the midst of my pity party, Jesus brought me to John 15. This is one of my favorite passages. This is the chapter that Jesus tells about the vine and the branch. He tells us that any branch that does not produce fruit is cut off of the vine because it is no good. Just when you feel like you could be that branch and feel hopeless, He says, "every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." (vs. 2). Notice He doesn't say that some branches get pruned...EVERY branch. The key to these fruitful branches is that they "remain" in the vine. There isn't a miracle fruit. It is a process of dedication and discipline. It is painful and uncertain at the moment. But we know the end result. It is something delightful and pure. That is what I want to be to my Jesus. I want to remain in His love that is so deep and overflowing. Then, Jesus tells us that when we remain in Him and produce fruits in our lives, we are in touch with Him. At this point, we may ask the Father for whatever we want. He longs to give us the desires of our hearts. If my desire is to serve Him with all of my heart, don't you think that He is capable of giving me the things I need to serve Him? Of course! Vs. 8 is awesome, "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to by my disciples." Wow. He doesn't want bruised fruit that is only looking for a free pass to heaven. He wants beautiful fruit that makes His glory shine through our lives as disciples on daily basis. In verse 11 He tells us that this is the secret to our joy...that we must remain in His love. It is easy to see why I was on my pity party once reading this.
The passage's ending is the best part...."I have no longer called you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you FRIENDS, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last." (vs. 15-16) Our God has called us to be pruned through life's challenges and painful circumstances that come and go. He has done this so that we can experience His love that overflows into our lives, producing indescribable joy as our best friend. This joy and love has no other choice but to spread to others so they can be called FRIEND. We have all we need because we have been given the Word of God.
As I reflect on this, I am amazed at the love of God for me. I have felt his pruning in my life and yeah...it hurts. I sometimes get lost in the pain and the current feeling. However, my God has such greater plans for me than that moment. He will keep pruning me till I am perfect in His eyes...till I can be fully used for His glory. And best of all, even during the pruning and the selfishness and pain, He still calls me friend.
Yeah, I was right when I said that this would be a long update. I hope that my ramblings are clear and maybe encouraging to you today. If you feel like your life doesn't make sense and that things are just plain hard right now...you have a friend that is making you be the most beautiful person that you can be. Remain in His love today and forever.
Please pray for me that I would continue to be pruned to be the woman that my Jesus wants me to be. Also, please pray for me to remember to be still before my God as He makes His will for me clear. There are a lot of things on my heart with next year, and I just need His clarity. I don't want to live a life that is for me. I may think that I do at times and even start to act like it. But in the depths of my heart, I know that I want my life to be His and for His glory.
First, some of you are probably wondering how the "I Admire You" dinner went a few weeks ago. For those of you that didn't know about it...my home church, North-Mar from Warren, Ohio, decided that they wanted to come down and have a dinner for my kids. The goal was to increase parent communications and to just show the love of Jesus. Parent involvement is a difficult thing in McDowell. Often no matter how well things are planned, the number of parents is low. My little faith had me doubting that parents would come. I kept praying that this would be different. In class, I had my kids write letters to their person that they invited about why they admire them. The letters were amazing and so heart warming. They took these very seriously, and I was so proud of them. I knew that the parents/adults that were invited would be touched if they showed up. Well, Thursday rolled around and I had a wonderful response from the parent forms and the kids themselves...however, I still doubted that they would come that night. About an hour before school let out, the 7 people from North-Mar arrived, and they came to my class. They read the "Candy Cane Story" to the kids which was an awesome way to share about the love of Jesus. Then, the kids who wanted to read their letters aloud did for extra practice. We ended the day with a fun game of "Down by the Banks" (a hand game that is a favorite in our class). The kids were super hyped up, and I knew right away that God was in this and that He was going to blow us all away. Every little detail of the day came together, and by 5:45PM, there were several kids waiting to get in the cafeteria for the dinner that began at 6:30PM. Out of 26 kids, 23 of them plus their special guest of honor showed up. The cafeteria was packed, and everyone was happy to be there. The response from the adults was amazing and so encouraging. As a teacher, I feel like there is sometimes a wall between parents and I. This wall was broken as parents were touched and reached. Many came up to hug me, and there were smiles everywhere. Honestly, I was overwhelmed by how God used North-Mar to bridge this gap. Every prayer was answered in the fullest and overflowing. Thank You, Jesus. After three weeks, I still am so excited about this! Not only did this help with parent communication, but it also showed my kids that there are people in this world that have love and joy. Many comments were made from my kids such as, "Miss Marshall, your friends are all nice. They are such happy people." Even though there was no preaching, I am positive that many kids knew that this love and joy was from the almighty God! He is so good! Thank you North-Mar and thank You, Jesus!!!
As far as my classroom...things are still going fairly well. I am loving teaching still, and God is working so much in my relationships with the staff. This past month has been somewhat difficult for me as I have dealt with selfishness and uncontentment; however, I have also seen my heart finally feel at home with my school. It is a great feeling. The selfishness and uncontentment are still a work in progress. I get discouraged so many days and wonder what I am doing here. I still miss my family like crazy. Most of all, I feel alone here. I know that my Jesus is here at all times! THANK YOU! As a person who loves to be face to face and in close proximity to those I love, this year has just been difficult. I miss hugs from the people I love and having the opportunity to have coffee dates and heart to hearts with friends. Also, God has opened and shut a few doors. They have been difficult at times to deal with, but He has reminded me again that He alone is God. I just need to be still. The other day I was having a huge pity party for myself. I was out of the Word for a few days, and I just was sad at my circumstances and basically....just ridiculous. Then, my mother who always brings me back to God's truth...reminded me of my God. How can I doubt a God who knows my name and who sees every tear I cry? He is the one that has given me my passions in life that I long to serve Him with. So, why would I doubt that He has the best plans for me? It is ridiculous to even think of doubting Him. But I unfortunately do at times. I hate that.
In the midst of my pity party, Jesus brought me to John 15. This is one of my favorite passages. This is the chapter that Jesus tells about the vine and the branch. He tells us that any branch that does not produce fruit is cut off of the vine because it is no good. Just when you feel like you could be that branch and feel hopeless, He says, "every branch that does bear fruit, he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful." (vs. 2). Notice He doesn't say that some branches get pruned...EVERY branch. The key to these fruitful branches is that they "remain" in the vine. There isn't a miracle fruit. It is a process of dedication and discipline. It is painful and uncertain at the moment. But we know the end result. It is something delightful and pure. That is what I want to be to my Jesus. I want to remain in His love that is so deep and overflowing. Then, Jesus tells us that when we remain in Him and produce fruits in our lives, we are in touch with Him. At this point, we may ask the Father for whatever we want. He longs to give us the desires of our hearts. If my desire is to serve Him with all of my heart, don't you think that He is capable of giving me the things I need to serve Him? Of course! Vs. 8 is awesome, "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to by my disciples." Wow. He doesn't want bruised fruit that is only looking for a free pass to heaven. He wants beautiful fruit that makes His glory shine through our lives as disciples on daily basis. In verse 11 He tells us that this is the secret to our joy...that we must remain in His love. It is easy to see why I was on my pity party once reading this.
The passage's ending is the best part...."I have no longer called you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you FRIENDS, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit- fruit that will last." (vs. 15-16) Our God has called us to be pruned through life's challenges and painful circumstances that come and go. He has done this so that we can experience His love that overflows into our lives, producing indescribable joy as our best friend. This joy and love has no other choice but to spread to others so they can be called FRIEND. We have all we need because we have been given the Word of God.
As I reflect on this, I am amazed at the love of God for me. I have felt his pruning in my life and yeah...it hurts. I sometimes get lost in the pain and the current feeling. However, my God has such greater plans for me than that moment. He will keep pruning me till I am perfect in His eyes...till I can be fully used for His glory. And best of all, even during the pruning and the selfishness and pain, He still calls me friend.
Yeah, I was right when I said that this would be a long update. I hope that my ramblings are clear and maybe encouraging to you today. If you feel like your life doesn't make sense and that things are just plain hard right now...you have a friend that is making you be the most beautiful person that you can be. Remain in His love today and forever.
Please pray for me that I would continue to be pruned to be the woman that my Jesus wants me to be. Also, please pray for me to remember to be still before my God as He makes His will for me clear. There are a lot of things on my heart with next year, and I just need His clarity. I don't want to live a life that is for me. I may think that I do at times and even start to act like it. But in the depths of my heart, I know that I want my life to be His and for His glory.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thankful
This Thanksgiving means more to me than usual for some reason. I think that the older I get, the more I realize how blessed I am on a day to day basis and as a person. In an effort to thank the Lord for the many blessings of my life, I have decided to do a yearly list of things that I am thankful for…starting now. In case you don't know this about me...I LOVE lists! This one was even better than normal! :) I think that it will be really neat to look back several years from now and to see how God is faithful in my individual life past, present, and future. I also want to take this time to thank each one of you for loving me through your prayers, following my blog, cards, phone calls, emails, hugs, and just knowing that you care. I am thankful for YOU!
2010 Thankful List (in no particular order):
-Prayer
-My Bible and the truths that have penetrated my heart
-Psalm 46:10- “Be still and know that I am God!”
-A Bible-believing church to worship at freely
-Singing
-Mom (for always being my best friend)
-Dad (for always making me feel valued and special)
-Eddie (for always lending an ear and giving me advice)
-Brian (for always making me laugh)
-Dylan (for always making me smile like no one else and for sweet kisses)
-Nicole (Eddie’s girlfriend of a year that has been a great addition to our family)
-Grandma and Gramps
-Lexie
-A car that is not only dependable but also one that I am proud to drive
-Safety on crazy mountain roads
-A job that allows me to pay my bills and be able to enjoy the small things in life
-laughter
-Weekends to relax and rejuvenate
-Writing (journals, books, blogs, etc.)
-Getting to experience
-The wedding of precious friends, Dauthan and Amanda, and the joyful surrounding of sweet friendship.
-Phone calls from friends that miss me
-Emails from churches and people saying that they are praying for me and my ministry
-The start of Young Life
-A summer where I was able to spend tons of time with my precious Dylan
-My trip to
-My education from
-A roommate that has similar passions for Jesus and the world
-Friends from
-The words, “I love you”
-Surprises
-Music (“Our God” by Chris Tomlin has become a new favorite this year)
-The 26 smiles that teach me as I teach them each day
-For healing of my heart and the freedom that comes with letting things go
-The feeling of trust
-roller coasters
-coffee
-Deep conversations where heart-to-hearts can occur
-New friendships
This list is in no way complete…but it is a start.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! :)
Monday, October 25, 2010
Too Excited to Blog
So I've been a major slacker with blogging. I apologize to those of you that are wanting to know what is going on here in War. Well, let me tell you, it has been a super exciting month where God has revealed Himself in many ways!
First of all, thank you so much for those of you who have been praying. Do you ever feel like God's blessing are just flowing over you? That is how I have felt, and I know that part of that is because of your prayers. This past month I don't think I have ever been so humbled by the work of God. Through random churches saying that they are praying for me, getting checks in the mail for school supplies, to my home church letting me know that they want to partner with me....I have felt incredibly loved. God has used these people to show me a glimpse into His plan for my ministry here in McDowell. Most of all, He has shown me that His plan is so much more than I can imagine! It seems like all of the sudden the flood doors have opened. I'm holding on and cannot stop smiling as I know it is God!!!
Well, besides encouragement, I have been really excited about the opportunities of involvement that God has brought my way. In school I have made some great relationships now with many teachers and have been able to share my faith. Also, I have started to really bond with my students and to be able to see some progress in their learning which is super exciting. Outside of school, I joined Kiwanis with my roommate. I'm now a pinned, official member! :) For those of you who don't know, this is a service volunteer club that does a ton for the community. I feel like it is a wonderful way to not only serve War, but also to build relationships with community members.
And one of the most exciting things...YOUNG LIFE! I should first back up...when I came a year ago (exactly today), I started praying about the ministry that God wanted me to be involved in. I really was overwhelmed by all the different options, so I decided just to wait and pray till the Lord lead me. Well, this year I have felt like Moses at the Red Sea when God says, "What are you waiting for? Go!" I know that the Lord has brought me here for two years and for a reason. The entire time I've been here, I have been very burdened for the high schoolers. With churches that are barely surviving, kids their age do not have a lot of healthy options...let alone an opportunity to really grow in their faith. So, I presented the idea of a "Coffee House Ministry" to Dan and Laura. They were both very much on board and felt a similar burden for these kids. At that point, we gave it to God and prayed that He would lead us as we started something like this. One thing led to another, and now I am thrilled to say that God willing, we will be starting Young Life ministry here in War by the first of January. God has so intricately worked out every step and the people in our path...especially the WV Director of Young Life. Please be praying as we continue to seek God in this exciting adventure. We are still praying about a location. Also, please pray that God will open up the hearts of those we work with and that we would continue to let the details to Him as we minister to these kids.
As you can imagine, I'm basically beyond excitement. I am feeling so amazingly blessed at the outpouring of God's love on me. I wanted to share this with all of you. I hope that God shows His face clear to you and that today you are reminded how great His love is for you!
First of all, thank you so much for those of you who have been praying. Do you ever feel like God's blessing are just flowing over you? That is how I have felt, and I know that part of that is because of your prayers. This past month I don't think I have ever been so humbled by the work of God. Through random churches saying that they are praying for me, getting checks in the mail for school supplies, to my home church letting me know that they want to partner with me....I have felt incredibly loved. God has used these people to show me a glimpse into His plan for my ministry here in McDowell. Most of all, He has shown me that His plan is so much more than I can imagine! It seems like all of the sudden the flood doors have opened. I'm holding on and cannot stop smiling as I know it is God!!!
Well, besides encouragement, I have been really excited about the opportunities of involvement that God has brought my way. In school I have made some great relationships now with many teachers and have been able to share my faith. Also, I have started to really bond with my students and to be able to see some progress in their learning which is super exciting. Outside of school, I joined Kiwanis with my roommate. I'm now a pinned, official member! :) For those of you who don't know, this is a service volunteer club that does a ton for the community. I feel like it is a wonderful way to not only serve War, but also to build relationships with community members.
And one of the most exciting things...YOUNG LIFE! I should first back up...when I came a year ago (exactly today), I started praying about the ministry that God wanted me to be involved in. I really was overwhelmed by all the different options, so I decided just to wait and pray till the Lord lead me. Well, this year I have felt like Moses at the Red Sea when God says, "What are you waiting for? Go!" I know that the Lord has brought me here for two years and for a reason. The entire time I've been here, I have been very burdened for the high schoolers. With churches that are barely surviving, kids their age do not have a lot of healthy options...let alone an opportunity to really grow in their faith. So, I presented the idea of a "Coffee House Ministry" to Dan and Laura. They were both very much on board and felt a similar burden for these kids. At that point, we gave it to God and prayed that He would lead us as we started something like this. One thing led to another, and now I am thrilled to say that God willing, we will be starting Young Life ministry here in War by the first of January. God has so intricately worked out every step and the people in our path...especially the WV Director of Young Life. Please be praying as we continue to seek God in this exciting adventure. We are still praying about a location. Also, please pray that God will open up the hearts of those we work with and that we would continue to let the details to Him as we minister to these kids.
As you can imagine, I'm basically beyond excitement. I am feeling so amazingly blessed at the outpouring of God's love on me. I wanted to share this with all of you. I hope that God shows His face clear to you and that today you are reminded how great His love is for you!
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
No More Excuses
"Someday I will do this, Lord. I just need to....." Fill in the blank. I do...all the time.
Yesterday when reading Oswald Chambers', My Utmost for His Highest, I felt extremely convicted and awakened. The passage of focus was Luke 9:51-62.
Basically, Jesus was heading to Jerusalem...close to the time that He was going to be crucified. He, James, and John were going through Samaritan villages (where there was a lot of tension at the time). The Samaritans didn't treat them well and James asked Jesus if He wanted him to bring down fire. Man...don't we feel like that sometimes? Lord, send some fire on that person or that situation because I don't want to deal with it anymore! I do.
As they walked further down the road, they came into contact with three different me. The first man said that he wanted to follow Jesus..."I will follow you wherever you go." (vs.57). Jesus knew his heart and basically was cold to him. At the first glimpse my tendency is to think that this is cruel and undeserving. However, God knew this man's heart. He knew that his intentions were not pure. Jesus requires more than lip service. The second man Jesus asked him to follow Him. He replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." The Lord responds again rather harsh and says to forget that and to do work for the Kingdom. The third man says, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back ans say good-by to my family." Jesus responds..."No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." WOW.
I find that I can relate to all of these men.
The first one...how many times have I said that I would do something but not had the right spirit or impure motives? The work of the Lord must be for His purpose and glory.
The second and third men....both give excuses. A father's death (or terminal sickness) and saying goodbye to family...valid excuses I think. Again Jesus knew their hearts. Maybe they did have the right motives, but maybe they were scared to take that next step. They didn't think that were ready. I feel that way a lot...and sometimes I don't realize that it is an excuse.
After reflecting on this passage, I started to think about the excuses that I have or am currently using from proclaiming the Kingdom. "I'm just a new teacher and trying to understand things still." "I love my family and shouldn't have to miss them so much. It must mean that I should live closer to home." "I am single and don't have anyone down here to help me. I'll do fill in the blank when I have a partner in ministry." "I probably need to finish my masters program before I worry about anything else." And my list goes on and on.
This passage opened my eyes really wide because Jesus is not messing around. When He calls us by name...we better listen and drop everything else. Does that mean that we should ditch the responsibilities that God has entrusted us with...no. But...we cannot use them as excuses. He has NO tolerance for excuses. If you have some time, read over this passage. There is a lot to it. And figure out what God is calling you to! Also, I encourage you to think about the excuses that you are making in life...even if they seem like really great things. They are there.
So...on a lighter note...
My class is still going super well. God has been great to give me patience and wisdom on how to start this year since I was very hesitant with my experience last year. Please continue to pray that my kids will see Jesus in me on a daily basis. Also, I have really started to connect with some of the teachers and look forward to continuing those relationships and sharing Jesus.
Yesterday when reading Oswald Chambers', My Utmost for His Highest, I felt extremely convicted and awakened. The passage of focus was Luke 9:51-62.
Basically, Jesus was heading to Jerusalem...close to the time that He was going to be crucified. He, James, and John were going through Samaritan villages (where there was a lot of tension at the time). The Samaritans didn't treat them well and James asked Jesus if He wanted him to bring down fire. Man...don't we feel like that sometimes? Lord, send some fire on that person or that situation because I don't want to deal with it anymore! I do.
As they walked further down the road, they came into contact with three different me. The first man said that he wanted to follow Jesus..."I will follow you wherever you go." (vs.57). Jesus knew his heart and basically was cold to him. At the first glimpse my tendency is to think that this is cruel and undeserving. However, God knew this man's heart. He knew that his intentions were not pure. Jesus requires more than lip service. The second man Jesus asked him to follow Him. He replied, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." The Lord responds again rather harsh and says to forget that and to do work for the Kingdom. The third man says, "I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back ans say good-by to my family." Jesus responds..."No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God." WOW.
I find that I can relate to all of these men.
The first one...how many times have I said that I would do something but not had the right spirit or impure motives? The work of the Lord must be for His purpose and glory.
The second and third men....both give excuses. A father's death (or terminal sickness) and saying goodbye to family...valid excuses I think. Again Jesus knew their hearts. Maybe they did have the right motives, but maybe they were scared to take that next step. They didn't think that were ready. I feel that way a lot...and sometimes I don't realize that it is an excuse.
After reflecting on this passage, I started to think about the excuses that I have or am currently using from proclaiming the Kingdom. "I'm just a new teacher and trying to understand things still." "I love my family and shouldn't have to miss them so much. It must mean that I should live closer to home." "I am single and don't have anyone down here to help me. I'll do fill in the blank when I have a partner in ministry." "I probably need to finish my masters program before I worry about anything else." And my list goes on and on.
This passage opened my eyes really wide because Jesus is not messing around. When He calls us by name...we better listen and drop everything else. Does that mean that we should ditch the responsibilities that God has entrusted us with...no. But...we cannot use them as excuses. He has NO tolerance for excuses. If you have some time, read over this passage. There is a lot to it. And figure out what God is calling you to! Also, I encourage you to think about the excuses that you are making in life...even if they seem like really great things. They are there.
So...on a lighter note...
My class is still going super well. God has been great to give me patience and wisdom on how to start this year since I was very hesitant with my experience last year. Please continue to pray that my kids will see Jesus in me on a daily basis. Also, I have really started to connect with some of the teachers and look forward to continuing those relationships and sharing Jesus.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Do You Ever...
Do you ever just sit and get overwhelmed by God's love for us? Tonight is that night for me.
The past few weeks that I have been back in West Virginia have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life...feeling so alone and confused about what God is doing. I keep asking Him to show His face and have felt so distant from even Him. However, this weekend was absolutely wonderful. The only way that I can describe how I feel is like a fountain...bursting. Today at church God spoke clearly truth into my life...so much that my head is spinning. I am overjoyed and so thankful. I can honestly say that I am refreshed.
There are so many things in my life that I am sick of.
Me....me...and me. I am always worried about myself, and I am so quick to forget the big picture. I have been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan off and on. Chan makes the point that if we truly understood God's love for us and His holiness...we would have no other choice but to serve Him with our whole being. The problem is that we let life get in the way and make excuses. Man am I guilty of this.
There are so many things that I want.
I want so much to live each day like it is my last day and be joyful in ALL that God brings. I want to constantly be speaking words of truth into other people's life instead of worrying about my own emotions. I want to think of others lives as more important than mine. I want to feel the urgency of the Gospel. I want to love people enough that I am willing to use my entire life to see them accept the gift of eternal life. I want to care about myself being successful not to the world but in the eyes of my Father. I want to not "want"....but know that the Lord is my shepherd and that He gives me everything that I need to be content in this life. Most of all, I want Jesus to be glorified in me.
These are my prayers. It isn't going to be easy. But God is up to something, and I know that He is bigger than me.
"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
--Joshua 1:8
The past few weeks that I have been back in West Virginia have been some of the most difficult weeks of my life...feeling so alone and confused about what God is doing. I keep asking Him to show His face and have felt so distant from even Him. However, this weekend was absolutely wonderful. The only way that I can describe how I feel is like a fountain...bursting. Today at church God spoke clearly truth into my life...so much that my head is spinning. I am overjoyed and so thankful. I can honestly say that I am refreshed.
There are so many things in my life that I am sick of.
Me....me...and me. I am always worried about myself, and I am so quick to forget the big picture. I have been reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan off and on. Chan makes the point that if we truly understood God's love for us and His holiness...we would have no other choice but to serve Him with our whole being. The problem is that we let life get in the way and make excuses. Man am I guilty of this.
There are so many things that I want.
I want so much to live each day like it is my last day and be joyful in ALL that God brings. I want to constantly be speaking words of truth into other people's life instead of worrying about my own emotions. I want to think of others lives as more important than mine. I want to feel the urgency of the Gospel. I want to love people enough that I am willing to use my entire life to see them accept the gift of eternal life. I want to care about myself being successful not to the world but in the eyes of my Father. I want to not "want"....but know that the Lord is my shepherd and that He gives me everything that I need to be content in this life. Most of all, I want Jesus to be glorified in me.
These are my prayers. It isn't going to be easy. But God is up to something, and I know that He is bigger than me.
"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful."
--Joshua 1:8
Monday, September 6, 2010
Recap
Well, it has been awhile since I've written. It seems that I always get inspired to write when it is way past my bedtime. Tonight is a perfect example of that.
A few hours ago, I returned back to War from a wonderful Labor Day weekend at home. My entire family was home (including my little Dylan). It was perfect with lots of laughter, fair food, and family time. Not only was it a long weekend, but the Canfield Fair, Ohio's largest fair, was going on. There is nothing like it, and it was wonderful to enjoy a great family tradition with all of my family. I also got to spend some time with my grandparents on my Gramps's 78th birthday. I am so greatly blessed to have each one of these people in my life. I love you!
Well, a quick school update...
Things are going really well! :) I have seen a huge difference in myself as a teacher this year, so I think that I am learning which is good. Also, it has been great to start the year with my kids. Talking is a huge problem...but talking I can deal with! :) Since it is so late, I will end with a funny story from the week.
In the hallway while in the bathroom line, two of my girls started talking to me. One of them said, "Miss Marshall, do you have any babies?" Oh great I thought, here we go again..."No." Then, she said of course, "do you have any husbands?" Again, "No." Then, she said what comes next, "do you have a boyfriend?" Again, staying patient, I smiled and said "No." The other little girl took this all in and finally bursted out, "Well, you sure look like a woman that has a husband and kids." Wondering what this meant while laughing, I asked her, "So what does a women that has a husband and kids look like?" She proceeded to tell me, "You know...she is a tall woman...and...she has a nice smile. And that is you." So, there you go. :)
Please continue to pray for this transition. For some reason I am still having a difficult time being back. Seeing my family this week was refreshing and also extremely difficult to leave again. Part of this I am sure is being at a new school and having a new class. I am praying that God would give me contentment in my heart and a joy each day to do all that He has in store. There are many new possibilities for ministries this year that I will talk about in another post...so I want to be ready to be His hands and feet. Thanks for reading and for praying! :)
A few hours ago, I returned back to War from a wonderful Labor Day weekend at home. My entire family was home (including my little Dylan). It was perfect with lots of laughter, fair food, and family time. Not only was it a long weekend, but the Canfield Fair, Ohio's largest fair, was going on. There is nothing like it, and it was wonderful to enjoy a great family tradition with all of my family. I also got to spend some time with my grandparents on my Gramps's 78th birthday. I am so greatly blessed to have each one of these people in my life. I love you!
Well, a quick school update...
Things are going really well! :) I have seen a huge difference in myself as a teacher this year, so I think that I am learning which is good. Also, it has been great to start the year with my kids. Talking is a huge problem...but talking I can deal with! :) Since it is so late, I will end with a funny story from the week.
In the hallway while in the bathroom line, two of my girls started talking to me. One of them said, "Miss Marshall, do you have any babies?" Oh great I thought, here we go again..."No." Then, she said of course, "do you have any husbands?" Again, "No." Then, she said what comes next, "do you have a boyfriend?" Again, staying patient, I smiled and said "No." The other little girl took this all in and finally bursted out, "Well, you sure look like a woman that has a husband and kids." Wondering what this meant while laughing, I asked her, "So what does a women that has a husband and kids look like?" She proceeded to tell me, "You know...she is a tall woman...and...she has a nice smile. And that is you." So, there you go. :)
Please continue to pray for this transition. For some reason I am still having a difficult time being back. Seeing my family this week was refreshing and also extremely difficult to leave again. Part of this I am sure is being at a new school and having a new class. I am praying that God would give me contentment in my heart and a joy each day to do all that He has in store. There are many new possibilities for ministries this year that I will talk about in another post...so I want to be ready to be His hands and feet. Thanks for reading and for praying! :)
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